Reaction: Vague Memory May Be Linked to Depression

Yesterday, forum member Alan Smithee sent over a link to this article from Jezebel on the possible link between a shaky memory and depression. The kicker: the piece includes excerpts from our friend Meggy’s blog! So, give it a read and let’s talk about the possible spots in our lives that may be close to blank. We’ve established early in DF’s history that there are times I can’t remember. Are there times you can’t remember?

  1. Jess said:

    First, Congrats to Meggy! That’s awesome! :)

    Regarding my lapses in memory, I have plenty. During my senior year of high school, I hardly remember anything concerete. There are snippets here and there, but when I was manic (so not necessarily depressed) I don’t quite remember all that happened. For example, I somehow walked out of my AP Econ class (don’t know how I managed that) and wandered the halls to where my old english class was. Students were working on a project, and I just sat down and talked with them (during class time!) Somehow, I ended up in Mixed Choir practice, but that was a few hours later. I have no idea what I did. I might have sat in on the previous class, for all I know. I also somehow managed to get myself on the field trip for our dress rehearsal of the concert, but I didn’t have a permission slip. I’m not sure why I didn’t have one previously, who knows.

    So there are gaps in my memory from (hypo)mania, but I also have a few with depression. When I was knocked out from Risperdol, I don’t quite remember anything of that week except sleeping, my parents feeding me, and me going to the bathroom. Also, everything blurs together from Aug-Dec 2003, as I was depressed during that time.

    Anyway, there’s my novel on memory loss! I’ve also written about it in my blog too.

    Take care,

  2. Jess said:

    Off topic, but exciting:

    I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, if you’d like to accept it, please follow the directions in my post here:

    Take care,

    • said:

      Thank you Jess. I will “accept” but only sorta. :) Further explanation on the “about the site” page coming soon.

  3. I used to have that issue with not being able to remember what happy felt like but I always, always could remember what the depression felt like even if I wasn’t there. I have many actions reminding me of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. More and more I am able to remember enough to keep me from going back there. But I think part of that memory issue is just part of our workings. I remember that birthing my kids involved pain but I have no physical memory of that pain. I believe that’s evolution’s way of allowing us to have more than one child. heh heh.

  4. Most of my childhood is a blur, I can only remember bits and pieces of it, and when I try to remember, I usually end up pushing myself into a horrible depressive episode. I had a therapist who told me there was nothing wrong with my mind, that the childhood memories were being destroyed in favor of new memories. That was frustrating, here I am going to this therapist for answers and help, and all he could say was that it was “normal.” Ever since then I have been trying to remember my childhood; at times I am successful, but the problem is the more I force myself to remember, the more unstable I become (that is why I have stopped writing, the memories of my past have been flooding into my mind. Instead of accepting the memories, I have forced myself into an isolated and depressed state).

    It is frustrating to have a mind that destroys its memories….It is great that you posted this, I have a rough draft of a post on loss of memory and manic depressive illness, that I have been thinking about publishing.


    • Dave,
      I don’t buy the destroying memories idea. I think we push the memories into deep recesses (not consciously of course) until we can deal with the emotional ramifications. Perhaps that time is now for you, perhaps not. I wish you some sense of strong footing as you embark further on this path.

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